Office Christmas Party (How true, how TRUE!)

Site Admin/Owner Joined: Aug 27, 2002 Posts: 17088

Note from Raven: Having worked in Corporate HR for 12+ years and am very intimate with the Compensation and Benefits policies of a company with more than 70k employees, I can attest that this "memo" is by no means a stretch of anyone's imagination, even though it is meant as a joke. These are the games we have to play. It's humorous, yes, but a very sad commentary on today's reality. If you don't want to attend the party then don't. Take the day off and have your own celebration Smile

- Just my personal commentary Wink

December 1 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 1 RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

December 2 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 2 RE: Christmas Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.

Happy now?

December 3 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 3 RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a nondrinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

December 7 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 7 RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party the days are so short this time of year or else package everything for takehome in little foil swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss anything?

December 8 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 8 RE: Holiday Party

So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tapdance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earthbased Goddessworshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???

December 9 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 9 RE: Holiday Party

People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?

December 10 Memo
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 10 RE: Holiday Party

Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!

December 14 Memo
FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress related illness and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanatorium.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

We hope that this change does not offend anyone.

Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 9:42 am

Well, I'm with you Raven!

Quote:

Take the day off and have your own celebration

But I believe the party should remain a 'Christmas' party for the simple fact that this holiday was introduced as a celebration of the birth of 'Christ'. I'm sorry if others feel left out, but this country was founded by a Christian majority and no matter what others may or what to beleive the very foundation of this country is built on a faith in Christ our Lord.

Quote:

Pennsylvania Supreme Court

No free government now exists in the world, unless where Christianity is acknowledged, and is the religion of the country.

(Source: Pennsylvania Supreme Court, 1824. Updegraph v. Cmmonwealth; 11 Serg. & R. 393, 406 (Sup.Ct. Penn. 1824).)

Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 9:56 am

Yep. And another thing as long as we're on a soapbox, if I chose to move to another country, say Mexico, I have to learn to speak their language. Why is it that the liberals feel we need to adopt other languages to accomodate the immigrants? I live in Kansas and there is a Sears store that most of their announcements are in Indian (India country!). Come on. Christians are severely persecuted in Arab countries yet Islamic 'religion' is overrunning our country and put on an equal or superior status compared to Christianity. Even our soldiers during Desert Storm had to be careful when they had their Bibles out so as not to "offend" the Arabs. I think we should show them the same "courtesy" here. I personally hold the liberals of all parties responsible for undermining the Constitution and the very foundations of our great country. Now I'll step down.

Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 11:08 am

LOL! I now work for a masonry company that is 99.99% Mexican (non-English speaking), me being the other 00.01%. The owner told me I would have to learn Spanish.... RIGHT! I said I would when the United States becomes part of Mexico or I move to that country.. Smile

As for your above statement I wholeheartedly agree. Although as Christians we should not set out to persecute others for their religious beliefs, but we should not have to compromise our own beliefs or modify our Holidays just to accommodate these other religions.

Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 11:47 am

Ehm isn't it called "integration"
People must accept that there are different people and if you can't live with that stay at home.
A lot of people think a party is hard to organize for 77k people but actualy it's easy.

She had to put up a memo for a party and write down a list:
- vegetarians
- eat pork (muslims)
- eat cow (indonesia)
- alcohol
- non-alcohol

And ask the employees if she missed something.
Then if the list is ready ask if some people want to help her cos you can't manage a party for 77k yourself.

Or just hire a professional party builder Razz

To me the Human Resources Director was unproffesional in her doing she should have known better

Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:05 am

This is something I feel very passionate about and although I'm quite liberal and open in my acceptance of other cultures, religious beliefs etc, I do feel that the whole world has gone barking mad with 'political correcteness'.
I have lived in several countries and as an individual I have always accomodated that countries culture and language.
Three words can sum up what might otherwise be a very lengthy post.

When in Rome...

Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 6:44 am

In Rome you eat pasta, Athene you eat gyros, in Ankara shoarma, in Cairo piza, in Beijing cat, Sydney kangaroo, Tokyo sushi, Oslo salmon, London bacon with eggs, Amsterdam boerenkool met worst, Paris escargo and in Barcelona paëlla.

Isn't it great you can eat it nextdoor now (except the cat)? Nobody complains about that.
Did you also know that it is "political correct" to burp after your meal in Japan as a "thank you" for the delicious food?

If everyone accomodated there would be no piza, no sushi, no wine.....

Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:16 am

Quote:

Isn't it great you can eat it nextdoor now (except the cat)?

Just visit your local Chinese restaurant. Around here there seems to be at least one on every corner ROTFL