My experience

New Member Joined: Dec 21, 2005 Posts: 1

Well I saw a lot of people giving their experience and I wanted to tell you mine.

I was baptized when I was 13, I'm 22 now. This was something I wanted to know, I felt very strongly about and my parents didn't pressure me on. Everything was fine until the first timed I sinned, I was reproved I had my privileges taken away from me. I worked really hard to get back in the good graces of my family and friends. I was 16 at the time, I made a mistake.

When I turned 18, I got in trouble again with the same young man. I was in love with him, we was going to get married. I know that's not an excuse for what I did, but at least you would know why. I was dissfellowhiped this time, it was officall I was cast out. I still wanted to say there, I didn't know any other religion. I went to the kingdom hall, by bus, walking, in the snow, rain, heat....no matter what the weather I was always there for all my meetings, even though I didn't have a car.

A year later they saw my good efforts and decided to have another meeting with me. 3 brothers and my parents, I was doing everything right, I did everything they told me to do. They sat down, all smiles just ready to welcome me back in. They asked me all the usuall questions and then one brother asked me a different question. Have I been in touch with the young man I sinned with? I told the truth, yes we're planning on getting married. I even told them when, my ring was being engraved. That changed everything, all of a sudden all the hard work I did, didn't matter. They told me they couldn't accept me back, not becaused I sinned, but because I was still in contact with that same individual. I wasn't sinning, I was getting married in a couple of months, I had a ring.

Now, I don't really have a family, just my friends. My parents was talking to me, but then they said unless it was an emergency they won't be calling me know more. My own flesh and blood left me.............if you never had this done to you. You would never know how hard it is, to be kicked out of religion you have known all your life. By people you loved, admirred and cared about. I don't want to go back to a place where man judges me. Where people can be so cruel and heartless, I don't believe God is like that and I don't think God resides there.

Site Admin/Owner Joined: Aug 27, 2002 Posts: 17088

My heart goes out to you, for sure. Nowhere in your story do you mention having ever come to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, as is clearly described in the New Testament. Salvation is through Jesus, not a church, nor a denomination, nor baptism, nor works of any kind. That is God's plan and always has been. Jesus testifies of Himself, "I Am The Way, The Truth, and The Life. No man cometh unto the Father but by Me". So, to know God, the Father, you must know Jesus Christ. And how can you know Jesus Christ? John 3:16 -> "For God so loveth the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever (that means Rita, and me, and anyone who believes) believeth in Him (Jesus) shall not perish but have everlasting life". There is much more that I can share with you but I don't want to overwhelm you with my first response. Just know that God's plan is for everyone, but not everyone accepts God's plan and will perish in the day of judgement. If you are truly seeking to know God, then He will make His way clear to you, and it's just started Wink

. "Seek and ye shall find; Knock and the door shall be opened".

Hangin' Around Joined: Oct 31, 2004 Posts: 33

Hi Rita, sorry I did not see your post before this as I was out doing xmas stuff all week, IMAGINE THAT... really glad you posted your experience here... its super hard dealing with what you have been through especially alone sharing your experiences and knowing that your not alone in your feelings will really help.

I would like to invite you over to our site Only registered users can see links on this board! Get registered or login! we have a real time chat and a journal so you can put your feelings down or talk to people on chat... (helps me) There are many ex jw sites out there but few try and help people heal. most people leaving the organization loose faith in god altogether.

Altho there a few that have lost faith completly in our chat and site for the most part we are like you relizing that we have been condishoned and brainwashed by our parents and loved ones. hopefully if its like my story you can add a few paragrahps to your experience ones about healing and discovering your not alone and not loosing faith in god.

Raven could you please start a topic for ex-jws so that they all funnel in there I would keep an eye on it to help those if possible.

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 12:52 pm

Paris,

I have opened a new Forum for you: http://www.ravenphpscripts.com/forum107.html

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 1:29 pm

On another note I would like to explain a few things about jehovahs wittnesses so that other may understand this religion many claim to but unless you have been you wont understand.

1. Jehovahs wittnesses are christians they accept jesus as the lord as their lord and savior. heres the questions you answer at baptismal

(a) Have you recognized yourself as a sinner and needing salvation from Jehovah God? And have you acknowledged that this salvation proceeds from him and through his ransomer, Christ Jesus?

(b) On the basis of this faith in God and in his provision for redemption have you dedicated yourself unreservedly to Jehovah God, to do his will henceforth as that will is revealed to you through Christ Jesus and through God's Word as his holy spirit makes it plain? Those who answer "yes" audibly to these two questions so that the other persons present may witness their affirmation of dedication may appropriately be baptized.

Rita probably failed to metion her close personal realationship with jesus becuse she assumed that you would understand that being a jw is having a much closer realationship than many religions out there very few follow jesus's footsteps the way they do by going door to door etc.

Also the way I see it so many many times is not the religion or god that Rita is having a problem with its the organization that controls the religion the watchtower bible and tract society. They control and brainwash every part of the parishioners lives to the point of everything being a doubt. If you voice out your doubts they expell you wholesale you loose everyting your whole family friends loved ones.

In order to help a person affected by this religion we must not overlook the hurt, pain, sorrow, loss of family they have been through on an personal level and not just address their very misunderstood and misled religous belives especially if we dont know what they really belive.

For now this is my major consern with Rita her personal well being becuse this leave you all alone in the world feeling like your a nobody.. after personal healing she will be able to make religous choices much much better... maybe even see that just becuse the jw's lied to her and her whole family lied to her that jesus still is our saviour.

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 1:33 pm

thank you raven Smile

for creating a forum for those people affected by this horrible organization. and for your reply to rita I am sure knowing that jesus will forgive her is so important to her (it is to me) thanks for sharing your scripture and thoughts.

Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 1:39 pm

I would strongly disagree with your point #1. Some may be Christians, of course, as there are in all 'religions'. But, JW, as an organization, are a cult by every definition of the term. Just as a quick example, the chosen 144,000. Enough said because I believe you are doing a good work and I don't want to disrupt that. But, we do have to be careful in how we state things as their false teachings far outway any changes they have made to accomodate the intolerance of their false witness. Even the devil appears as an angel of light.

New Member Joined: Dec 25, 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Arizona

Hi Rita, I'm sorry to hear your experience with the jw's. It is such a common one. All aspects of your life they try to control, putting themselves in the place of god, judging people.

I was raised a jw and didn't leave until i was 39. I had doubts for several years but like you, it was all I knew. I'd been taught these things from when I was a child by people (my parents) that I knew would not lie to me. Of course I don't think they did lie, they were as deceived as I was, but the conditioning is real.

I don't know what you believe now, but I hope your relationship is going well and you've been able to move on with your life. Being shunned by your family must be a miserable thing but it sounds like you've met someone and have new family now to feel close to. I hope so anyway.

As paris mentions, many leave the jw's and lose faith in god and the bible and that's where I'm at. I now question whether the bible is inspired of god and if god really has any love for mankind. But that's just my belief, it's nice to be able to share how we really feel without fear of being cast out or shunned by others.

I hope life moves forward well for you, you have alot of life left to live make the best of it Smile

-Thom
http://www.thomschat.com

registered · Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 3:43 pm

Rita wrote:

I don't want to go back to a place where man judges me. Where people can be so cruel and heartless, I don't believe God is like that and I don't think God resides there.

IMHO, the issue should not be whether they judged you or not. They should have! However, as Jesus said, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment" (John 7:24).

Did they judge you righteously, or did they judge you by appearance? This is the issue...

Jesus repeatedly taught men to 'judge rightly'. He praised a man who "rightly judged" in Luke 7:43. Paul shamed the Corinthian Christians because no one was willing to "judge the smallest matters" (1 Cor. 6:2). As he wrote, "He who is spiritual judges all things" for "we have the mind of Christ" (1 Cor. 2:15‑16).

"Judge Not", taken by itself, is a hypocrite haven. And, it's a lie that has paralyzed the Church. "Judge Not" is the prayer of those who want to hide light under a basket. When Christians believe this seductive lie, it takes them out of ministry. "Judge Not" is the shirking of responsibility and Jesus did not intend this!

So, my suggestion is to not fall prey to "Judge Not". Rather, try to determine whether or not 'they' judged you righteously, and go from there. Therein lies your answer!

Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 3:02 am

This is what happens when your dissfellowshiped>

Quote:

No individual arbitrarily determines that the practice of a particular sin requires disfellowshipping. Rather, this action is Scripturally required only when a member of the congregation unrepentantly engages in gross sins, such as those enumerated in the 5th chapter of First Corinthians. Thus, while a Christian may be disfellowshipped for practicing fornication, this occurs only if the individual refuses to accept the spiritual assistance of the elders and repent (evidenced by discontinuing the wrong conduct or their attitude toward it). A judicial committee (usually 3 elders) meets with the alleged offender, assesses whether a serious sin has been committed, and then decides whether the individual seems genuinely repentant. Elders are directed to take into account the personality of the individual rather than applying rigid determining factors for repentance.

Essentially this group of elders decides weather or not that you are repentant. eg- they judge you. Although the bible specifically states that no one but god can read the hearts of men. They insist that they know when you are repentant or not contray to the bible also warning of people trying to read hearts and minds as spirit mediums and so on. bottom line is its hypocritical.

This is what happens after your dissfellowshiped>

Quote:

Shunning, as practiced by the Witnesses, takes a less extreme form than that of the Old Order Amish. However, because Witnesses' social life generally revolves around association with fellow believers, being shunned can isolate a member in a very powerful way. Being disfellowshipped can be devastating if everyone in a member's social circle participates in the shunning. Witnesses are expected to shun family members, except those living in the same household. In this case, social contact and normal family ties continue as before, with the exception that the remaining Witness members of the family will not share in Bible study, prayer, or discussions of faith-related matters with the disfellowshipped member.

Once the person has moved out from home shunning is generally practiced. The organization discourages association with disfellowshipped family members living outside the home, but recognizes the need for a certain degree of contact, for instance, to discuss necessary family business, or to provide care for aged parents who are disfellowshipped. In practice, most disfellowshipped persons continue to have a limited degree of association with family members who remain in the organization.

Basically you loose everything friends, family and your whole support group if you make a mistake that THEY FEEL YOUR NOT REPENTANT FOR they also practice this on a wholesale basis for anyone that doesnt aggree with everything that they belive based on the fact that if you dont agree your a bad association.

My heart goes out to you Rita I fully understand how you must feel. Hang in there maybe once you get on your own feet you can see that its okay to disbelive this organization of misery try not to loose faith in god if you can hold on to the good you can find.

Involved Joined: Oct 09, 2004 Posts: 293

Quote:

I worked really hard to get back in the good graces of my family and friends. I was 16 at the time, I made a mistake.

thats like saying a rape victum is at fault.
The mistake is NOT yours...

I do not understand the concept of how a Family (even good friends) can reject its members....
Love is NOT a tool of punishment or blackmail
True Love is unconditional.
True Love is just not feeling it...It is doing it.
It can not be turned on and off like a tap.

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 11:36 am

VinDsl WOW your a christian too! very cool man Smile

Thanks for your comment about judgement and your right sometimes judgement is entirely nessasary for the good of the congregation the way that the jws handle it is that they decide when your repentant enough to return.. this deciding whats in the hearts of men is not proper... and by your comment I think you would agree.. thanks for sharing your thoughts

Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 1:02 pm

Steptoe, I really like your consept of uncondishional love great post thanks for sharing:)